Exclusive: Watch new episodes of Life, Love, etc. Mondays at 7pm MST | 9pm EST

Anna Elton™

Therapist · Author · Speaker
Is This Emotional Infidelity? A Reflection Tool
Reflection Tool

Is this emotional infidelity?

A private way to look at an outside connection and its effect on your relationship.

Emotional infidelity rarely starts with a decision. It usually builds through closeness, sharing and a growing sense of being understood. This tool helps you see whether an attachment outside your relationship has begun crossing lines that matter to you.

How to use it

Read each statement and check the ones that feel true, or that have been true recently. Nothing is saved or sent. Checking three or more is worth paying attention to.

0 / 15 checked
Nothing checked yet
PART 1

Emotional closeness and priority

PART 2

Secrecy and emotional distance

PART 3

Fantasy and emotional replacement

What your score suggests

0 to 2 Likely within the range of a platonic friendship. Still worth talking with your partner about emotional needs.
3 to 5 Emotional energy may be shifting away from the relationship. Look at boundaries and at what is going unmet.
6 to 9 Strong signs of emotional infidelity. Reflection or a therapeutic conversation is recommended.
10 to 15 This connection may be replacing intimacy in the relationship and putting it at long-term risk.

Questions to sit with

  • What emotional needs are being met in this connection that feel unmet in your relationship?
  • What comes up when you imagine ending or redefining this bond?
  • How might your partner feel if they knew the full nature of the connection?
  • What boundaries around emotional closeness with others need to be clear in your relationship?

This tool is for reflection and is not a diagnosis or a substitute for therapy.